What do I want from a support group?

You need to ask yourself what you want from a group. The answer could be friends, general information, a place to be with others in a similar predicament, information on local doctors, the latest in medical treatments, answers to questions you can't ask anyone else, a place to vent your frustrations or be validated.

Remember validation is important.

Don't overlook the fact that many support groups welcome family members.

Having a family member as part of a support group accomplishes two things; it can help family members get information and a better under­standing of this illness and it injects a healthy person into the group.

Also, frustrations abound when the family status quo is tipped on its head as a family member gets ill and unable to fulfill the role he or she once did. That bur­den is often shifted, silently, and in some cases, with anger, from the patient to a healthy per­son. Support group meetings are a place where that is understood. This illness doesn't just affect the patient, it affects the patient's total support network.

You need to keep in mind these are self-help, mutual aid groups. People seeking support should try to be realistic in their expectations.

There are some things that go beyond the limits of what a support group is able to offer, like spend­ing a lot of time or attention on a par­ticular individual's vast array of prob­lems. If a person has a lot of personal issues to work through, then perhaps professional counseling would be appropriate to address these in greater detail.

A support group can allow people to bring up things that are troubling them, but it cannot take on the responsibility of solving their problems. The support group may be able to direct people to certain practitioners or institutions for help.